Are You Familiar With The Thing I Just Made Up?

I know it's cheap to post content from other sites, but this is priceless. Al Franken invited Joseph Minton and Tom Breuer to his show. They are the authors of Sweet Jesus I Hate Bill O'Reilly. The three discussed the many ways Bill manages to embarrass himself. Al provoked lively discussion by playing clips from Bill's show. Some topics include:

Defamation of Character

Al: One of the ugliest lies is about Jeremy Glick, who lost his father in 9/11. And he keeps saying that Jeremy Glick said on the show- which he didn't- that Bush I and Bush II orchestrated 9/11.

Tom or Joe: There's a chapter in the book where we actually line by line go through the entire interview and write what Bill said, what Jeremy said, and then what was happening in Bill's head. And it's three totally different things.

Fake Sources

Al: At this point Canada was giving sanctuary to some of our deserters. And he was threatening that the O'Reilly Factor would boycott Canada, our largest trading partner.

Tom or Joe: And wreak havoc in the way his previous boycott had wreaked havoc on France.

Al: Which it hadn't. By the way, once he started his boycott of France, imports from France went up.

Bill: If you start to undermine our war against terrorists then Americans are going to take action. Are you willing to accept that boycott which will hurt your economy drastically?

Canadian Journalist: I don't think for a moment such a boycott would take place because we are your biggest trading partner.

Bill: No it will take place. In France they've lost billions of dollars according to the Paris Business Review.

Canadian Journalist: I think that's nonsense.

Al: OK now, there is no Paris Business Review... He does this thing all the time, which is "Are you familiar with the thing I just made up?"

Revisionist History

Bill: Although if France had sided with us Saddam would have backed off, the weapons inspectors would have been in, and there wouldn't have been a war. That's true.

Tom or Joe: Yeah, as that's black and white fact to him. In his head that is fact. That is so scary.

Al: The fact to him is that the weapons inspectors never went in. Even though the weapons inspectors... went in. In November. We told them finally to get out because we're going to be bombing. So the weapons inspectors were there from November 18th, 2002. And he says this repeatedly!

Fake Credentials

Bill: I tell you what. I've been in combat. I've seen it. I've been close to it. And if my unit is in danger and I've got a captured guy. And the guy knows where the enemy is. And I'm looking him in the eye. The guy better tell me. That's all I'm going to tell you. If it's life or death... he's going first.

Caller: Hey Bill. Bill, first things first. You just said that you've been in combat but you've never been in the military have you?

Bill: No I have not.

Caller: Why did you say you've been in combat?

Bill: What do I say that Roger? Because I was in the middle of a couple of firefights in South and Central America.

Caller: But you were a media guy.

Bill: Yeah. A media guy with a pen, not a gun. And people were shooting at me, Roger.

Caller: 'Cause people might think that you actually were in the military.

Bill: No. We don't want to mislead anybody. But I've made it quite clear, quite clear in many, many circumstances.

Caller: Is that fair and balanced?

Bill: Yeah. Hey listen Roger, you know what? You can take your little fair and balanced snip remark and shove it. You're not getting on this air. You, Mr. macho man, would have never come close to anything that I've done down where I've been. So take a walk, and... enough said.

Tom or Joe: He knows nothing about Roger. Roger could have no legs from Vietnam. I mean he has absolutely no idea who Roger is. It's the most insane thing to take that approach.

Fact Checking

Al: Here he's talking about the Factor staff. And how devoted he is to getting his facts right.

Bill: Every day the Factor staff, radio and television, comes to me with stories. We have pitch meetings. And I say, "Prove it." They got to prove it to me. And it may be a story I really like. And I go, "OK, prove it." And we kill eight out of ten stories because it's not there. Which is why in eight and a half years I've never had to retract a story on either radio or television. Never had to retract one.

Al: What kind of staff does he have that eight out of the ten stories they bring him don't check out?

Tom or Joe: You've got to fire those people. You don't keep them on.

Bad Writing

[You've got to hear this. Bill's attempt at salacious fiction is as funny as it is bad. His reading of his own writing makes it even more humorous.]

Tom or Joe: He reads it like a talking points memo!

     

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