Dodged A Bullet

Al Franken postulates that Cheney's hunting mishap could have been much worse. How so Mr. Franken?

I have to imagine, don't you think that Cheney and Bush have gone hunting together? Wouldn't you say Andy?

They'd have to have gone hunting together.

Joel, don't you think?

Absolutely.

At some point, right? Now imagine if Cheney had shot the President. Can you imagine that? And knowing this President... I mean the guy that Cheney shot in the face- and neck, left side of his face and neck- is seventy eight years old. Bush- if he shot Bush like that... Bush is in good shape. And he's kind of- I think he's got a temper and he's kind of macho. I think Bush would have gotten up and shot Cheney back. And I think they would have gone after each other, blasting each other like in a Tarantino movie. Can you imagine? I mean really that's possible. These guys, I think, have short fuses.

Think about it. Think what could have happened if the President and the Vice President were hunting together and this happened. I mean the Vice President almost killed this guy. I mean a little higher and a little closer it could have... And imagine what would have happened if we- you know you're sitting at home like we got the reports- that the Vice President killed the President. You know an accident. An accident. Everybody, all the eye witnesses going "accident." I mean there would be a lot of conspiracy theories, obviously.

Many of which would be expressed probably in e-mails to our show.

Yes, but we'd be faced with... Imagine this: We would be faced with the situation where Cheney would then be President. The President would have shot the other President, the last President. And we'd have to decide as the sort of American people- and our leaders would have to decide what do you do? I mean we did dodge a bullet here in a way, in a sense.

     

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Unapproved FISA Wiretaps

More humor from Al Franken regarding the NSA wiretapping story. Mr. Franken is referring to the secret court established by the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. The serious question is why did the Administration bypass this court when it has in the past been very accommodating to surveillance requests, approving all but a few requests? The humorous question is for what reason were those previous requests denied? Mr. Franken:

So, since the inception of the FISA court in 1979 there have been roughly- this we got from the Electronic Privacy Information Center. There have been roughly 19,000 requests approved for warrants and four- five, I'm sorry- five rejected. Uh... There... OK. And you just got to wonder what those five were like. How do you?... If you have five rejected out of 20,000- 19,000- what were those five requests that were turned down like? I think it was like this. It was like:

"Um, Jerry? You want this warrant to wiretap your wife? Is that right?"

"Uh, yeah. I think she's a spy."

"Jerry, haven't we been through this?"

"Uh, no really I think she's spying for, uh, Serbia."

"Uh huh. And you also want to wiretap her boss?"

"Right, yeah. I think he's in on it- the spying for Serbia."

"Look Jer. I think that maybe you should think about getting maybe a private eye or a marriage counselor. But this is not why the FISA court was set up."

"She's cheating on me, Bob! She's cheating on me!"

"Ah Jer, calm down. Look, this is the fifth time you've tried to get a warrant on your wife. And I warned you last time and I got... I'm gonna have to tell your supervisor. And I can't guarantee that he's not going to be very, very unhappy."

"OK, I won't come to you again."

"Now Jer, I told you last time. I told you two times ago, three strikes and you're out. And I've let you come now again twice. I've got to tell you supervisor. And these are the only five warrants we've ever turned down, and it's just got to stop."

"I'll stop!"

"Now you said that before, Jer. I can't help you with your wife. Get a private eye. Get a marriage counselor."

I think that's it.

     

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Al Qaeda At The Super Bowl

Al Franken managed to find some humor in the NSA wiretapping story. From his radio program today:

OK, here's Michael V. Hayden, the nation's second ranking intelligence official. He laid out the operational details in a speech. And he basically said that this isn't really domestic spying, this is just spying on people who are talking to, or are, known Al Qaeda or suspected Al Qaeda operatives. But on the other hand- and that it was very limited. To that. It was limited to just Al Qaeda and Al Qaeda suspects. But on the other hand this guy, Russell Tice, who was part of this program and was part of the secret black world operations said that this was like millions of Americans that were monitored. And the FBI has said that they were overwhelmed with stuff from this program. That they kept getting these leads from this program- and it made it impossible to do their real job of tracing down terrorists because everything led to- you know, led down a blind alley. That nothing came of these things. So this is- if it's only Al Qaeda and Al Qaeda operatives and suspected Al Qaeda operatives, and it's millions of these, and it's overwhelmed the FBI... I'm terrified. Because all this can possibly mean is that there are millions of Al Qaeda in the country.

I'd say two percent of the country are Al Qaeda... Judging by this. That means one out of every fifty. If you're listening to this and you're on the freeway right now, say in Los Angeles or something. Look around. Look at the cars. There's someone in Al Qaeda in there. At the Super Bowl there's gonna be a thousand Al Qaeda there. It's in Detroit! Detroit is very, very... I mean, that has kind of a large Muslim population. Now I know it's Pittsburgh and Seattle fans will be coming. But it's in Detroit. There's gonna be a thousand Al Qaeda there.

If you're standing in line with fifty people to see Munich, one of them is probably Al Qaeda. Well to see Munich more than one is Al Qaeda, so.

     

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A Failure of Intelligence

[An e-mail to my father in response to Frank Rich's essay, Why Did James Baker Turn Bush Into Nixon?.]

Good essay. But, I must disagree. No one made a fatal decision to turn Bush into Nixon or anyone else. This was not a failure of stage management. This was a failure of intelligence. Not intelligence in the sense of spy agency analysis. I mean a failure of mental faculty on Mr. Bush's part. I believe the nation saw him for what he is, a confused, inarticulate, and dumb man. And maybe, just maybe, started to question whether he's up to the task.

Really, the story is not so complicated. Mr. Bush is a man of meager intelligence. When asked to explain himself, to defend and justify his decisions, he couldn't do it. He's not up to it. He doesn't have the life experience of arguing positions on the merits of the case, and he doesn't have the mental faculty because he's never bothered to exercise it.

The press, when backed into a corner, always defends President Bush's intelligence, usually with some folksy anecdote. They do this because they must, not because they really mean it. I don't believe them. I never have. Intelligence manifests itself in many ways. I've witnessed no manifestation in Mr. Bush, and I follow the news closely. The man is dumb. I don't respect him, nor do I feel sorry for him, because I believe his failings are largely due to inattention on his part to the deeper side of life.

You know, Anthony Powell wrote in A Dance to the Music of Time- among many topics- about the decline of the British upper classes. He depicts them as falling in with unscrupulous moneyed people and lazy ideas, becoming comfortable with the authority to rule over others, gradually forgetting what it is they defended in the first place that won them the respect and right to rule their fellow men, eventually becoming bitter and ineffectual and attacking the very system they once depended on. I get the feeling we are witnessing this today in our own country, in the decline of the Bush family. The present generation doesn't measure up to the prior generations.

     

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Oblivious To The World

[An e-mail to my sister in response to Frank Rich's essay, Now on DVD: The Passion of the Bush.]

Great essay.

I'm sorry, but anyone that goes to Billy Graham, at age forty no less, to be told what to value in life is seriously oblivious to the world around him. To deify this "journey" is to glorify ignorance and obedience. It's a thinly veiled message that says, "We all are confused and overwhelmed by the world we find ourselves in. Don't attempt to understand it, it's too complex for you. You will end up tempted into sin. Rather, submit yourselves fully to your overlords: Jesus Christ and George W. Bush." A very soothing message for weak people who are looking to dispense with their will and personal responsibility.

I have no problem with someone turning their life around, finding direction after years of wandering. That is admirable. To boast about it is tedious, and suggests to me that one hasn't really turned anything around.

     

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