Wed Sep 24, 2003 (Religion, Politics) Comments

[An e-mail to my father and sister.]

Hope everyone's having a good day. Some more political commentary:

Have you heard about John Ashcroft's recent move? He wants all federal prosecutors to charge defendants with the "most serious offense," and try all these cases if necessary, even if this means forgoing the opportunity to extract a guilty plea from the defendant on a slightly lesser charge.

Now, keep in mind that 96% of all federal cases are settled without a trial because the prosecutors have extracted such a guilty plea from the defendant. Ninety six percent.

96! That's out of 100.

Legal professionals, of course, point out the obvious. That if Mr. Ashcroft were to have his way, the courts would be overrun. Our judicial system would collapse under its own weight for the sake of satisfying the principles of this simpleton.

This just goes to show how idiotic is their approach to life:

Rule #1: Never, under any circumstances, allow fellow human beings to exercise judgment. This is the same principle behind city ordinances that force clerks in the liquor department at Jewel to ID retirees. No judgment allowed. Can't trust those clerks. Come to think of it, can't trust damn near anyone.

And the people who believe in this system, these trust-withholding misanthropes, call themselves Christian. What?

Rule #2: Always trust us. Nunno- I'm aware of the first rule. Not a peep out of you!

Rules #3 and 4: No violence. No lust.

These are my favorite rules. They betray such a naive approach to life. That it is possible to tame man of deep seated biological urges simply by legislating it. We, the elders, proclaim that man should not be violent. Furthermore, we, the elders, proclaim that neither should he be filled with sexual desire. Done and done.

Of course, the deterrent effect of the penalties for non-compliance with these two rules has demonstrated over the years how effective is such a legislative approach to washing man of his undesirable traits. Capital punishment, mandatory sentencing, and the clever one-two punch concocted by the Catholic Church- glorifying emblems of sexual purity (the Virgin Mary and the celibate priest) while simultaneously threatening eternal hellfire for not idolizing and obeying them- have truly changed man's behavior for the better, have they not?

Are the elders that believe in this simplistic vision of life like children, whose minds have not matured to the point where they may comprehend the complexities and moral ambiguities of our life? Or, are they just incredibly mean-spirited, human-race-hating people that want to break our backs, break our will, and remake us better than our Creator could? Their way.